750 Ways to Annoy [REDEMPTION] People
From the rec.games.trading-cards.misc newsgroup
He Started It: Kory Lentine
Fellow Delinquents: Steve Braun, Harry Cox, Phil Gaudette, Doug Gray, Iguanajon, Joe Joiner, HappyJosiah, Tim Mierzejewski, Justin Sangillo, SillyLiddy, Kevin Shride
(Sorry, I don't remember everyone's real name by their newsgroup ID. If you'd like your real name to appear here instead of your newsgroup ID, just send it to me.)
#1. Don't give your opponent a chance to play AotL when you block with Simon and play Wrath.
#sqr(2). Make irrational posts.
#2. Put more than one SoG in your deck. (To give deck checkers something to look for.)
#3. Always gloat after you beat cooper (or anyone else, for that matter). BUT NEVER, EVER gloat after beating Rob Anderson in Redemption- because he can make a ruling against you.
#3.141592657.... When you're judging a tournament, make your ruling before the question is actually asked.
#8. Place "out of order" signs on working vending machines outside the tournament hall.
#15. Design cards that can be ripped up. (Rob). :-)
#17. Purposely confuse two Redemption players with the same first name to get one or both of them angry.
#18. Constantly "dropping" cards while you play. "Huh...I wondered where those Lost Souls went to."
#22: Wear Groucho Marx glasses and claim to be Kory.
#23. Wear a fake beard and padding, untuck your t-shirt and pretend to be Steve.
#24. Introduce a friend you know to be highly eccentric to Redemption. (You may be forced to apologize to the whole Redemption community after this one-see "An Abject Apology" for the background of this one. I KNOW who posted #23.)
#25. Appealing to Rob when someone doesn't give you the answer you want at Nationals.
#25a. Appealing to the Rob Anderson card when Rob doesn't give you the answer you want.
#26. Pay tournament registration fees with Monopoly money.
#37. When posting, make sure you leave out an important word or, and always missspell at leest a couple of words.
#45. Ask to look at a player's deck. When he shows it to you...break out laughing.
#57. When you are on the verge of losing...quit. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Hey, this is a very New Jersey thing to do. We'll call it the "Toricelli maneuver.")
#78. Tell everyone that you know what the next two Redemption sets will be...and then don't tell.
#80. Just grab a few of your opponent's LS and put them in your land of Redemption. If your opponent asks questions, just ignore him (or her).
#83. Redemption New Jersey. (No further explanation necessary.)
#87. Knocking over someone's case with his tournament decks inside. If you are quick you might say, "Well, instead of having those four TYPE I decks you now have a nice TYPE II deck!"
#89. Walk up to the game that will determine the national champion. Watch a few minutes then ask one of them, "When you are done demoing the game you want to play me for real?"
#90. Complain about how you hate when tournament games go to time limit while playing with an all defense deck.
#101. Between tournament rounds, find unsuspecting people who are still playing and smack them in the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Tell them that you are trying to kill pigeons for tomorrow's brunch.
#111. Ask for a ruling on whether a book of the Bible is OT or NT.
#117. Start a thread listing ways to annoy Redemption players, so you can mask the fact that you really are annoying.
#118. Post the entire "annoyance" thread online, so you can give everyone great ideas before Nationals.
#119. Post the same thing to the newsgroup twice (whether intentional or not).
#120. Mock others for simple accidents that weren't their fault to begin with. (See #119)
#121. At Nationals, ask people what gender they are.
#129. Remove toilet paper from tournament restrooms.
#132. Call a judge over, claiming that your opponent only has six Lost Souls in his deck when you know inside he has seven (or more).
#140. Crack your knuckles.
#156. When visiting friends' houses to play Redemption, discretely set their alarm clocks to go off at 3:00 am.
#167. Right before you start a match, ask your opponent, "Do you play Simon the Magician? Do you play Gabriel?"
#184. Send an email to email@example.com and inform them that there is a spelling error on one of their pages. Don't tell them which of the 100+ pages it was, or any details on how to find it. Just say it's
there and they need to fix it or they'll continue to look stupid.
#190. When visiting friends' houses to play Redemption, turn up thermostats to maximum cool.
#191. After smashing your opponent say, "Yeah, I threw this deck together in five minutes."
#195. After losing a close game search your draw pile and exclaim, "Oh man! I was just about to draw my Son of God, Prince of this World, and Confusion!" Then start whining about a bad draw.
#198. When visiting friends' houses to play Redemption, turn the ringer volumes to "off" on all phones.
#209. When playing in tournaments, your response to every contested ruling should be: "More nonsensical rubbish from the mouths of the uninformed, undereducated, lower proletariat!"
#211. If your opponent attacks with that ever-so-nasty Gabriel, simply smile and say, "You can't play that card. It is not legal." When your opponent objects, quickly rip up his card.
#216. Get a new box of cards (or more) while your friend is out of town so she/he can't help you open and sort them.
#222. Hum the Veggie Tales theme constantly while you play.
#243. Accidentally draw too many cards...every turn. Saying out loud, "Sorry about that." To oneself, "Yes! I draw Gabriel next turn!"
#262. When signing up for tournaments, always list your year of birth as 1849. If asked about it just say, "There's no mistake. You just don't understand."
#262. Repeat the numbers already used by someone else when posting.
#265. Stand up in a busy diner and violently tear a Haman's Plot to shreds while screaming, "It's all lies. It's all lies!"
#292. Have seven decks, each with different colored sleeves. Use the deck corresponding to the sleeve color of your opponent, so as to confuse him.
#293. Use Gleaning the Fields to steal a discarded Haman's Plot from your opponent, not showing them what you took. During your next block, play their Haman's Plot and tear it in half before they have a chance to point out that Gleaning the Fields is only for taking GOOD enhancements.
#294. Super-Glue people's things together: cards to deck holders, deck holders to tables, cards to other cards, pants to chairs, etc..
#295. Shuffle half of your opponent's cards the opposite direction of the other half.
#304. Create a powerful new enhancement card, then complain when it isn't adopted in the next expansion.
#316. After having rescued your third lost soul accidentally pull out the Son of God and NJ as you pull out another enhancement to play in battle. Looking astonished you say, "Whoops, I hope you didn't see those." Smirk. "What were you going to play?"
#318. During the tournament, whenever need arises, pull off your shoes and socks and trim your toenails with your teeth.
#319. After you win, point out all your opponent's mistakes, then bolt to the scoring table. If it was 5-2 or better, say it loud, and say it often.
#325. Play with 5 Son of Gods in your deck.
#333. Tell someone you will give them a New Jerusalem card for the Ultra Rare you want from them, and when they say yes, proudly hand them the New Jerusalem site.
#338. Give a bottle of mouthwash as a tournament prize.
#344. Hold key cards in your hand BACKWARDS (so they are facing your opponent): Wrath of Satan, Authority of Christ, Son of God, New Jerusalem, etc...
#356. Put a handful of Dominant cards in your deck. I have found a 4-1 ratio is nice.
#385. Wear a tie to the tournament, and make sure that the short end is in front.
#399. After defending a rescue attempt in which you and your opponent have each played at least four enhancements, play Burial on the only possible lost soul.
#407. Walk up to someone at a tournament and say, "No one likes you."
#432. Make sure you post everywhere you can that you're going to Nationals to rub it in to those players that can't make it.
#441. Pull out seventeen gigantic binders when someone asks if you want to trade, show that all of the binders are packed ot the brim with Michaels, New Jerusalems, and Emperor Neros, and ask them if they want to see your "real cards."
#444. When an opponent asks you to cut his/her deck, take out a pair of scissors and actually do it.
#467 Send in your wrappers, without a self-addressed stamped envelope!
#467. When attending out-of-town tournaments, always wear your underwear on the outside of your clothes.
#471. Mention the word "redraw."
#472. Mention redraws.
#473. Mention redraws.
#500. When mailing self-address stamped envelopes in for free booster packs, always affix stamps to envelopes sideways.
# 510. Refuse to graciously sign a card for a fan you know is only going to deface it into something he'll use on his wacky website.
#511. Take a card that has been graciously autographed by Rob Anderson and deface it.
#512. Walk up to any game and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Magic?"
#513. Walk to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Go Fish?"
#514. Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Bingo?"
#515. Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Figure Skating?"
#516. Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Time Stream?"
#517. Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of The Mission?"
#518. Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of Redemption?"
#519: Walk up to any game of Redemption and say, "Isn't this just a copy of <insert name of CCG here>?"
#526. Whenever you are introduced to new people at tournaments, ask them for identification.
#533. During a game, hint that you have cards in your deck that you don't really have by making statements like "I have never gone so long without drawing Guardian," or "I can't believe I haven't drawn any of my many, many sites yet."
#534. Just opposite of #533, hint that you don't have cards in your deck that you really do: "I need to add Holy Grail to this deck," "If I only had Dragon Raid, then I could win."
#550. In the semi-finals of a tournament, suggest to who's just about to win which card he should play, so he can get accused of cheating by playing that card.
#555. Blame losing on your sister, who surely must have mixed up your decks.
#556. Or on your 3-year-old daughter, who definitely must have been playing with your cards again...
#557. Block with Bear while Three Nails is active. When your opponent says Bear is a demon, reply with, "Justify it biblically."
#558. Ask for a redraw. When your opponent says you're not alowed to redraw in Redemption, reply with, "Justify it biblically."
#564. Wait until there are 5 minutes left in a tournament. Excuse yourself to the restroom, and don't come back.
#565. Before a big tournament with many long rounds, make the religious decision to quit wearing deodorant.
#598. Constantly eating your opponent's peanut M & M's...that he was using as set-aside counters. (NOTE: Using edible counters is NOT advisable at a RNJ game night.)
#601. Use as weak a deck as possible, then, before the game, just grab your opponent's deck and switch it with your own. Again, if they ask questions, just ignore them.
#605. When hosting tournaments, always show up late with a good excuse: "Bill Gates and I were cruising at Mach 1.2 while discussing quantum mechanics. Suddenly, our plane was attached by elements of the North Korean Air Force -- and we had to bailout over Rio. Otherwise, I would have been here."
#612. Constantly be a thorn in the side of the creator of Redemption.
#613. Constantly be a thorn in the side of the Redemption community's self-proclaimed webjester.
#620. Play slow.
#623. Ask, "What's the special ability on Sanctifying Faith again? I forgot. Oh, and could you make sure it's word-for-word?"
#637 Always bury that Lost Soul right before he goes for the rescue attempt.
#638. Install strobe lights over your Redemption playing table.
#647: Keep reminding everyone how many players are registered for the Nationals, so the people who can't make it feel worse and worse about it.
#649. Develop some kind of eccentric drawing ritual, like tapping each card on the table before you put it in your hand.
#649b. Call all opponents and bystanders "brother."
#649c. Tell everyone around you, Redemption players or not, how much of Cactus your family owns.
#691. When discarding face down, discard Lost Souls when no one is looking.
#703. Every time your opponent plays a card, ask them, "Are you sure you want to play that?"
#713. Distract your opponent by brazenly picking your nose and telling them you are "excising demons." Then stow the "demon" somewhere in plain sight. Like on his draw pile.
#720. Egging your opponent on to attack you. When he finally gives in you engage him in a massive battle, which he eventually wins. When he jumps up in victory say, "Whoops, no lost souls."
#721. Band in your opponent's Jepthah and use up his "once per game" special ability.
#722. If you make a mistake during a match, ask your opponent if you can take it back. When your opponent makes a mistake, don't let him take it back.
#744. Read each individual card you draw from card title to copyright.
#749. Refuse to give back Redeemed Souls at the end of the game.
#751. Include Holy Hand Granade in your official tournament deck.
#752. Tell your opponent, "That's OK. I couldn't have won with your deck either."
#754. Find an empty table between tournament rounds, and play Magic.
#836. In a list of 750, repeatedly exceed #750.