Really Cool Ideas for Redemption...
That Will Never See the Light of Day
We've all had ideas from time to time for new cards, new rules, and new twists on the game of Redemption. Sometimes the best of these ideas might be considered by TPTB at Cactus. Sometimes they make for nice little house rules to give the game a little oomph. And sometimes they're like the ideas we post here-so inconceivably, unimaginably bizarre that no one in their right mind would even give them a second thought. Which is why we're posting them here, of course.
This idea first appeared on the newsgroup, and could justifiably be said to belong the the "Other Newsgroup FAQ" page. We decided, however, that since Phil is a member in good standing (or what passes for good standing) of RNJ his idea deserved to be the first of our "Really Cool Ideas" to be published on our site.
How about a Transparent Brigade? They could be the guys that never quite get the job done. Here are some ideas:
HEROES:
Great Orator (12/12): Hero becomes 0/0 as soon as it enters battlefield. Evil character realizes it speaks well but has nothing to say.
Stupid Apostle (*/*): Hero would like to be a 12/12, but thought Jesus said, "Blessed are the cheesemakers!"
Dog (15/15): Hero would be really effective in battle, but because it's a dog it can't read or speak English (or Hebrew/Greek/Aramiac, for that matter). Hero becomes a friend to evil character, if evil character gives it food.
Misguided Witness (What's the difference?/What's the difference?): Hero gets lost on the way to battle, wanders into someone else's territory, looks around for a while, then falls off the table.
Doomtown Character (*/*): Hero realizes it's in the wrong CCG, takes a shot at Moses and hightails it outta there!
Sleepy Soldier (-/-): Hero enters battle, then falls asleep. Evil character takes hero's wallet. Hero wakes up, wonders what happened, leans up against discard pile, and falls asleep again. When game is over, hero is left behind and never makes it back into the deck.
ENHANCEMENTS:
"Luke Warm" (*): Hero neither wins a soul nor destroys an evil character. If evil character allows hero to survive, hero slinks back to holder's territory to be ridiculed by the other cards.
"Double Talk" (*): Hero begins to witness, but forgets what it was saying. Evil character walks away scratching its head.
"Halitosis" (7/-2): Hero actually has something good to say, but its breath is so bad, Lost Soul flees.
"Uninformed" (?/?): Hero begins to witness, but is actually confused by evil character. Hero winds up falling away, and joining a cult.
"Two Left Feet" (*): Hero walks in circles and never makes it into battle.
"Huff and Puff" (/): Hero gets obnoxious which makes evil character even more resolved to stay evil. Lost Soul wonders, "What's wrong with this guy?"
The Holy Hand Grenade
Here's a new "Holy Grail" card that we've seen recently by an anonymous creator that is right up our alley. (It takes a little while to download, so please be patient.)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Expansion (Stephen Schaefer)
The "Holy Hand Grenade" led Stephen Schafer to post a whole "expansion" based on the movie. And, in our opinion, it's better than the actual "MPATHG" CCG.
With Nationals coming up this week I thought I would take the opportunity to submit again to Doug my request for him to expand his vaunted Holy Hand Grenade card to include a number of characters and items from the greatest comedy of all time. I submit to you all: My Quest for the Holy Grail Expansion Set:
KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT
ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITTONS - May band to all Knights of Camelot. Hero ignores Black Knight, Knights of Nee, Grail-Shaped Beacon and Old Man from Scene 24.
"It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pen-Dragon, from the Castle of Camelot, King of the Brittons, the speaker of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!"
SIR LANCELOT - Every time Sir Lancelot enters battle, one Hero of each player is discarded. Rescuer's choice.
"Did you kill all those guards?" "Uuhhhh…. Oh, yes!… sorry…"
SIR GALAHAD - Hero is Immune to all Evil Characters except Young Blondes and Brunettes.
"Look, let me go back in there and face the peril." "No, it's too perilous." "Let me have just a little peril." "No. It's unhealthy."
SIR ROBIN - If any blocker is presented, Sir robin withdraws from battle.
"He bravely ran away, away, brave, brave Sir Robin. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled."
SIR BEDEVERE - Convert any female character to a Witch. Burn card.
"Tell me: what do you do with witches?" "BURN THEM!" "And what do you burn upon the witches?" "MORE WITCHES!" "… wood!" "So, why do witches burn?" "…because… they're made of… wood?"
SIR NOT-APPEARING-IN-THIS-FILM - 0/0
SQUIRES
PATSY - May band to Arthur
"This is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot."
CONCORDE - May band to Lancelot. The first time Concorde is discarded, he returns with abilities increased 0/4.
"Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!" "I'm not quite dead, sir."
OTHER HEROES
UNLADEN SWALLOW - May band to Unladen Swallow. If banded, Unladen Swallows may use Coconut from any color brigade.
"Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?"
And…"Wait a minute, supposing two swallows carried it together." "Nah, they'd have to have it on a line."
DENNIS - When this card is in play, owner may exchange any Evil Character being used to block with Dennis, and band to Heroes in battle. Evil Character returns to territory. Ability may only be used once.
"Old woman-" "-man-" "-man, sorry…" "I'm 37, I'm not old." "Well, I can't just call you `man'" "You could say `Dennis'" "I didn't know you were called Dennis." "You didn't bother to find out, did you?"
PRINCE HERBERT - When this card is in play, owner may substitute any Lost Soul about to be rescued with Prince Herbert. Does not count as a Redeemed Soul.
"He's come to rescue me, father!" "Well, let's not jump to conclusions…"
ROGER THE SHRUBBER - Search any draw or discard pile for Shrubbery.
"Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the shrubber. I arrange, design and sell shrubberies."
ROBIN'S MINSTRELS - When this card is in play, rescuer may substitute all Heroes about to be discarded with Robin's Minstrels.
"In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's Minstrels, and there was much rejoicing."
BROTHER MAYNARD - Search own draw pile for Holy Hand Grenade and activate.
"Brother Maynard, bring out the Holy Hand Grenade!" "Pie Jesu domine, dona eis requiem."
TIM THE ENCHANTER
"There are some who call me… Tim…"
GOOD ENHANCEMENTS
COCONUT - 2/0 (One for each color brigade used in this set)
Various quotes to be used for each color:
"Where'd you get the coconuts?" "We found them." "Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!"
"The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the hodgemartin or the flubber may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land." "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" "What, a swallow carrying a coconut?" "It could grip it by the husk" "It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of
weight ratios. A 5-oz bird could not carry a one-pound coconut!"
LADY OF THE LAKE - Hero may search own draw pile and replace any Hero with Arthur, King of the Brittons.
"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I'm your king."
NEE - Search own draw pile for Roger the Shrubber. Band into battle.
"Ah, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `Nee' at will to old ladies… there is a pestilence upon this land… nothing is saced."
SHRUBBERY - Return Knights of Nee to owner's territory
"O Knights of Nee, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery." "One that looks nice." "Of course." "And not too expensive."
IT - Hero ignores Knights of Nee
"Don't say that word." "What word?" "I cannot tell. Suffice to say, it is one of the words the Knights of Nee cannot hear."
FATAL HEART ATTACK - Discard Great Black Beast of Aaaaghh.
"As the horrendous black beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack, and the cartoon peril was no more."
I'M NOT QUITE DEAD YET - ½ Good, ½ Evil Enhancement - Heal any Hero (Evil Character on other half) about to be discarded. Return card to hand. Discard after three uses.
"I'm not dead yet… I'm feeling better… I think I might pull through"
EVIL CHARACTERS
BLACK KNIGHT - 0/1 - Cannot be converted, discarded or captured. If defeated, Black Knight re-enters battle. After 4 attempts to block, all Heroes ignore Black Knight for remainder of game.
"I'M INVINCIBLE!!!" "You're a looney." "The black knight always triumphs! Have at you!"
FRENCH KNIGHTS - When used to block Knights of Camelot, taunt rescuer in a French accent. Heroes are returned to owner's hand.
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur king, you and your silly English Kuh-nnnnnnnnnnnnniggots!"
THREE-HEADED KNIGHT - Repels Sir Robin
"I shall have to kill you." "Shall I?" "Oh, I don't think so." "Well, what do I think?" "I think kill him." "Oh let's be nice to him." "Shut up!"
YOUNG BLONDES AND BRUNETTES - When blocking, Young Blondes and Brunettes take one male Hero in battle prisoner. Place in Castle Anthrax for one turn, then return Hero to owner's territory.
"We are but aid-school young blondes and brunettes, all between 16 and 19 ½."
KNIGHTS OF NEE - Immune to all Heroes until Shrubbery is played.
"We are the keepers of the sacred words, Nee, Ping, and Neeeee-wom!"
KILLER RABBIT - Immune to all Heroes unless Holy Hand Grenade is active.
"He's got huge, sharp… he can leap about… look at the bones!!!"
LEGENDARY BLACK BEAST OF AAAAGHH - Discard Brother Maynard.
"It's the Legendary Black Beast of- AAAAGHH!"
OLD MAN FROM SCENE 24 - Ask rescuer "What is your name?" "What is your quest?" "What is your favorite color?" If rescuer does not answer all three questions correctly, take Hero prisoner and place in Gorge of Eternal Peril.
"Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."
EVIL ENHANCEMENTS
BRING OUT YOUR DEAD - If Hero's toughness is less than 2, discard Hero.
"He says he's not dead." "Yes he is." "I'm not!" "He isn't?" "Well, he will be soon, he's very ill." "I'm getting better!" "No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment."
VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM - 0/3
"Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!"
HOLY 2X4 - 2/4
"Pie Jesu domine… Dona Eis Requiem"
BARNYARD ANIMALS - 5/5
"Feche le veche! Feche le veche!"
TROJAN RABBIT - Repel all heroes being used to rescue. Discard any Squire in play.
"What happens now?" "Well, now, Lancelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French totally by surprise. Not only by surprise, but duly unarmed!"
GRAIL-SHAPED BEACON - All Knights of Camelot lose their way and must withdraw from battle.
"Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting light to our beacon, which I just remembered is grail-shaped."
CAPITAL OF ASSYRIA - Take Hero prisoner and place in Gorge of Eternal Peril.
"WHAT… is the capital of Assyria?" "I don't know that- aaahhhhhhh"
SITES/FORTRESSES
CAMELOT - Site
"Camelot!" "Camelot!" "Camelot!" "It's only a model…"
CASTLE ANTHRAX - Site
"Welcome, gentle sir kinght. Welcome to the castle Anthrax." "Castle Anthrax?" "Yes…it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we will attend to your every every need."
SWAMP CASTLE - Site
"They said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it anyway, just to show `em. It sank into the swamp. SO, I built a second castle. It sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stood up!"
CAVE OF CAERBANNOCH - Site
"Behold, the Cave of Caerbannoch!"
GORGE OF ETERNAL PERIL - Fortress - May hold all captured Heroes who are instructed to be placed in this site. None may be returned to Field of Play.
BRIDGE OF DEATH - Site - If a rescue attempt at this site is successfully blocked, one Hero in battle is taken prisoner and placed in the Gorge of Eternal Peril
CASTLE AAAAGHH - Site
"He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of… Aaaaghh."
INSTANT CARDS
INTERMISSION - Interrupt battle for ten seconds, then play the next enhancement card.
POLICE ARRIVE - Game immediately ends. Nobody wins.